and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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