apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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