I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
A bitchslap is in order.
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