I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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