question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
