Where is the hickey?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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