Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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