I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
