just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
