quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
are you so shy because you have an std?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hippo gnu deer
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
