just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
