he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
