i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
