Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
