You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
