So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
