i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
that may or may not have been my penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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