I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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