It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
