...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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