If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
