Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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