in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Come on in and take your pants off
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