I wannas sexs uuuuu
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
