The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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