Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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