Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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