Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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