I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
