i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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