marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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