I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
