I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
