remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
