normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
