so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
