the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
