rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
