here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
