On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
