I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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