Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
