We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
