just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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