I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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