This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
