your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
