so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
