he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
