Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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