There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My balls are so social today.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
