Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
