Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize