His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
