i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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