My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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