put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
