We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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