Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
