she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
