I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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