is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
