I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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