Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
