D3 body, D1 cock
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
