On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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