You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
