i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
