i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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