Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
